One of the most difficult challenges that we all are faced with every day of their adoption. Not only is it sometimes difficult to accept certain things in our lives, but also to understand and cooperate effectively distinguish between what we have to accept, and what we can change is often difficult.
The short form, often have to accept other people as they are. We can ask them to consider change, and why we think we should, but we can not and will not change. We can control them (such as children, students, workers), but we can not and will not change, or the circumstances. They must do that themselves. The only exception is when a young dangerous situation; Sometimes this responsibility in our mind says we must intervene. However, in such a situation, the best way to do this is to seek professional help, and not try to interfere with itself.
Deciding what should be accepted, and what we can change is a perpetual challenge for us.
To be happy we have to accept what we can not or will not, change. It can be very difficult, but essential. Sometimes it is difficult to accept something, you have to accept, and then walk away. This can occur frequently relationships, not only marriages and domestic partnerships, but also a group of friends and professional contacts.
The & # 39; Holy Cow & # 39; The things you can not change those things that you do not want to accept others! The only people who may decide to modify any aspect of themselves or personality. Here's an example:
Mary did not like the way his friend Roy dress, not six as in the direction of his parents, he did not treat them with respect. It is true that Mary should be told Roy he does not like these things, and see if he is ready to change them. However, if he is not willing to change, how to dress and how to talk with their parents, and Mary three options left:
1. He accepts how you choose to be, and to understand that better, she would let me go to the full acceptance and appreciate the different qualities. We also accept that these decisions are his alone and that he did not need them any responsibility; Mary no longer worry about this.
2. He will not accept, and will continue to conflicts and problems the two aspects of the Roy does not like. This is likely to exacerbate the problem, and end up with a lifetime of unhappiness and conflict with, or an ugly separation.
3. He accepts that this is how we choose to understand that it's always bothered too much and walk away from the relationship, the state relaxed its adoption. Both men are likely to be happier, more fulfilling lives.
If the children can not accept the traits, then it is your duty as a parent to guide them, and try to make changes. This requires a lot of respect and to the communication, the child, the differences and the right of the individual. But in the end these kids define their own character and reality. These vary depending on the inspiration and guidance, the likely scenario if the information is reasonable. Or you may choose to go its own way, in this case can only accept children who have chosen to be, and again is one of the examples mentioned above are valid.
I met a lady in one of the seminars, who was a young boy, the murdered another child when she was 12 years old. He was causing a lot of problems before they happen. He tried many ways to reach out and help him, but he refused. It never had a problem and not his father, and they lived in a good neighborhood. We talked for some time about whether he can accept that it was his son and that he chose, so young, his fate.
He said he was afraid to go out in the first two years, and he was ashamed because he thought the people blame him. We agreed that she would not have to love my son or approve of his actions, but instead need to separate the decisions of his life. It had to accept who he is and that he is not at fault. He could not choose that life with him or not.
The most important for him was to go out and keep your head high. She was a good mother, caring person who is entitled to their own lives without the burden of guilt or shame. By helping him to understand that the framework of this situation, to perform her choice, accept the situation and was prepared very grateful.
Once I did not feel shame, he could go and look people in the eye. Quickly changing the reputation of the community, and neighbors and others stopped looking at him like he was punished and instead created a positive response to their positive approach in return. People began to accept him, he was not only the mother to the bad guy!
Acceptance generate more acceptance, but watch out for judgment do the same thing – it attracts more judgment!
Try and make the effort to change things in your life that you do not like and that you have the power to change. I'm not saying you do not want to do anything and just accept that some people will be upset with you that – others will appreciate.
Accept all things in your life or work that you do not like and can not be changed. Understand the real impact on you. Decide whether to remain in a situation where you do not like, but you can not change. The worst thing that we all can do to make ourselves and our motivation to accept the situation can not be changed, and then continue doing nothing but complaining that everybody how bad it is.
What do you think happens? That will meet a magician who can change it? Of course not! That complaining will lighten the load? It will not even make it harder every time you talk about it! The only way to lighten the load, to accept that & # 39; it is what it is & # 39; and can not be changed by you. Then decide if you reframe or view differently, so do not bother any more, or if you have to move yourself in a new situation where you can no longer see him.
Accepting the negative situations in front of us and decide how to move forward, so they no longer bother us essential component of happiness. We can not be regularly complain and be happy! Just do not!
I recently met someone who has a positive situation that bothered them. His best friend has inherited all of a sudden an unknown uncle) to the treasury. It's immensely disturbed by this person, a mix of jealousy and insecurity permeates I had a great friendship. We talked about the need to accept this was an unalterable part of the friendship and celebrate or even walk. But it is necessary not to spoil their happiness, because your friend & # 39; and good luck. You see, they lost nothing! He still had a boyfriend, they had everything the previous day, but they unfortunately gained unpleasant insight into your own ego – a block of jealousy was submitted to the hearts and in the meantime, while the place that towards the positive thoughts of his friend, the friendship was doomed. The problem was, I met not & # 39; Luck & # 39; or a friend!
I had to accept two things
1. He was my friend, really lucky
2. Have you discovered that a jealous and insecure man
The decision to work through a few workouts, and will have a stronger positive person was the ideal result.
Adoption of luck and deeds of others is just as important as the adoption of negative traits. Acceptance of ourselves and who we are today is the first step. Then we plan to move forward towards achieving the great potential that is locked all of us!